Best Self

Best Self: Be You, Only Better

베스트 셀프 - 너 자신이 되라, 오로지 더 나은 쪽으로

 

Best Self: Be You, Only Better by Mike Bayer  (Author)

 

사람들은 누구나 가면을 쓰고 살아가고 있다. 가끔은 그런 가면 속에 숨겨져 있던 모습이 드러나기도 하지만, 누구나 어떤 형태로든 가면을 쓰고 있을 것이다. 저자는 이 가면의 존재를 부정하지 않고 적극적으로 인정하며, 그 가면을 어떻게 인식하고 고쳐나갈 것인가를 얘기한다. 책에서 말하는 Best Self 는 자기가 그리기를 희망하는 가면일테고, Anti Self 는 그 가면의 이면 혹은 쓰고 있긴는 하지만 쓰고 싶지 않은 가면이라고 할 수 있다. 사람들의 인생을 여러 방향에서 인식할 수 있겠지만, 책의 저자는 Social Life - Personal Life - Health - Education - Relationship - Employment - Spiritual Development Life 의 7가지 방향으로 설명하면서, 앞글자들을 모아서 The SPHERES 모델이라고 명명한다.  책의 저자가 TV에도 나오고 LA를 중심으로 활동하고 있다고 하는데, 책을 읽기 전에는 전혀 몰랐다. 사람은 고쳐 쓰는것이 아니라고도 한다. 다른 사람을 고쳐쓰지는 못하지만, 자기가 다른 가면을 골라 쓸 수는 있다.  그리고, 그렇게 고르고 싶은 가면은 자기가 만들어 가는 것이다. 책에 나오는 여러가지 얘기중에 개인적인 Ritual이라는 부분은 김정운 교수가 어느 강연에서 말하는 개인적인 Ritual과 결이 닿아 있다.

 

pp. 4

It's a simple ritual - staring at one's self in the mirror as a mental check-in- but it's profound. That's one thing I've learned along the way; the simple acts can be the most powerful ones in our lives. I knew that as long as I took the time to enter into this meditative state, to center myself, and ensure I'm making decisions that are rooted in my spiritual truth, that I will be able to show up as the best version of myself and have complete focus on my client. In other words, it helps me approach each situation selflessly.

 

pp. 14

But when someone's experienced a significant emotional event in their life, they often don't take all the necessary steps to deal with it in a healthy way. It'd be like moving them back into that burned-out house and telling them to just ignore the ashes.

 

pp. 19

No one could truly know what it has meant to walk in your shoes because only you have walked in them. Your sum experiences, thoughts, feelings, genetics, and spirit are yours alone. There has never been another you, nor will there ever be. You are no better or worse than anyone else, and even when you don't feel like you are anywhere near good enough, you are enough because of one simple truth ... you are you. The only one.

 

pp. 28

the work we do in this internal world of someone's mind has tangible effects in the real world. That's because thoughts lead to action, or behavior. If you take control of your thoughts, the resulting behavior follows suit.

 

pp. 65

Curiosity simply means "a strong desire to know or learn something." If you're stopped being curious, you can't explore yourself. I know it's sometimes scary digging deep, peeling back those layers, brushing the dust off something that's been sitting there, planted in your psyche for decades, insidiously growing roots. But by shining light on the dark corners of your mind and heart, you'll see that whatever in there isn't nearly as scary as it seemed, and you'll start to take your power back in ways you never thought possible.

 

pp. 68

Choosing to be open is like opening our mind's eye so that we can see answers that have been there all along but were hidden to us because we were blind to them.

 

pp. 69

Willingness is the action step; being willing to stay in action, not just in thought.

 

pp. 95

Essentially, we are choosing to have an external locus of control anytime that we are pointing the finger away from ourselves for anything going on in our life.

 

pp. 108

"social interaction helps to exercise people's minds. People reap cognitive benefits from socializing. It is possible that as people engage socially and mentally with others, they receive relatively immediate cognitive boosts." So you can think of socializing as a form of exercise for your brain - it can help make you smarter in the same way that exercising your body makes you stronger.

<Mental exercising through simple socializing: social interaction promotes general cognitive functioning.> by Ybarra O1, Burnstein E, Winkielman P, Keller MC, Manis M, Chan E, Rodriguez J.

 

pp. 120

Simple Tools for socializing authentically

• Have something in mind you want to share

• Remain present

• Ask questions

• Be a good listener

• <Is ‘‘service with a smile’’ enough? Authenticity of positive displays during service encounters> by Alicia A. Grandeya,*, Glenda M. Fiska, Anna S. Mattilab, Karen J. Jansenc, Lori A. Sidemana

• Maintain open body language

• Be aware of your tone

• Chat, don't preach

• Maintain eye contact

• Give positive feedback

• Acknowledge strangers

pp. 131

In order to show up as your Best Self as a parent, a role model, an employee/employer, a friend, son, daughter, sibling, and so on, you must show up for yourself first. If you're not taking care of yourself, you won't have the emotional or physical energy to take care of your loved ones in the way you really want to anyway.

 

pp. 132

    <Building Self-Control Strength: Practicing Self-Control Leads to Improved Self-Control Performance> by Mark Muraven

• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2855143/pdf/nihms-170290.pdf

pp. 155

Pain is inevitable, and sometime you're going to feel like you must surrender to it. That doesn't mean you're letting the pain win; that means you're human. This isn't about winning or losing. Life is a series of experiences, and pain is part of your experience of life.

 

pp. 169

    The Psychobiotic Revolution: Mood, Food, and the New Science of the Gut-Brain Connection by Scott C. Anderson (Author), John F. Cryan (Author), Ted Dinan (Author)

• http://psychobiotic-revolution.com/

• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201803/the-psychobiotic-revolution

 

pp. 192

    Back to school: Learning a new skill can slow cognitive aging

• https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/learning-new-skill-can-slow-cognitive-aging-201604279502

pp. 240

    Golden Circle

• https://simonsinek.com/commit/the-golden-circle

• Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek  (Author)

• https://enviableworkplace.com/executive-summary-golden-circle-simon-sinek/

•  What : outer ring

•  How : middle ring

•  Why : inner circle

 

pp. 244

Relationship with Money questions

1. What does money mean to you?

2. What were your earliest experiences with understanding money?

3. Did you have any traumatic events or major stressors that were related to money?

4. What limiting beliefs have you developed around money? 

5. Do you believe that money can come easily to you? 

 

pp. 262

People with faith have been shown to live longer and have a lower risk of heart attack They also report experiencing less anxiety and stress in their lives, less depression and more contentment.

• Does Religion Stave Off the Grave? Religious Affiliation in One’s Obituary and Longevity by Laura E. Wallace, Rebecca Anthony, Christian M. End, and Baldwin M. Way

• https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1948550618779820

• The Impact of Spirituality on Mental Health - by Deborah Cornah.

• https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/sites/default/files/impact-spirituality.pdf

• Spiritual Engagement and Meaning

• https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/science-of-happiness/spiritual-engagement/

 

pp. 268

Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hahn once said, "People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."